Judge a Book by its Lover
by xxxKei
Summary: Losing a loved one and moving in with her estranged family was hard enough for Rukia; the last thing she needed was to fall in love with the wrong guy. For a literature teacher, he sure had a problem spelling three simple words. /Cover by Firii on Deviantart/


**Themes: **Student/teacher and family love. A/U, crack family, OOC

**Rating:**Rated M for future lemons.

**Disclaimer:**I only own bleach. The novel mentioned in the story ('The Bookmark') is fictional and owned by me, the author.

Hope you enjoy-

* * *

Rain. Endless, merciless rain, like a water curtain hanging from the dark clouds. The petite girl stood in her waterproof jacket in the middle of the street, hands in pockets and her rolling suitcase in toe. She gazed at the modest estate before her in hesitation and when the cold got to her bones, she finally moved to the front door.

"I'm coming…" the almost forgotten voice sang from the inside.

Once the door opened, Rukia was faced with the brighter-than-the-sun smile, bouncing chest and gleaming eyes of her mother, almost in tears at the sight of her estranged daughter.

"Rukia!" The girl didn't react, but the woman immediately hugged her, forcefully almost, crushing the small girl to her ample cleavage in tears. "Oh baby, how much have you grown! Come in, come in, you must be so cold!"

After disengaging herself, the girl smiled awkwardly and was ushered inside, where her mother hastily removed her jacket. Rukia took the chance to gaze around the quaint little home, which was simple and neatly cleaned.

"Rukia is here!" yelled her mother, and the girl blushed and quickly bent down to take off her shoes. She actually felt nervous.

"RUKIIIIII!"

The girl, now crouched down on the floor, turned her head up to see two bouncing breasts fighting against the pink blouse in a vicious battle, and a mane of golden orange hair, luxurious as ever, waving from side to side like a live shampoo commercial. Not to mention the perfectly whitened teeth. Rukia had to blink, but before she could react, she was smashed against the floor by the overly voluptuous body of her elder sister.

"Ran… giku…?"

"Rukiiii!" she squealed and pulled her sister up, then grinned her award-worthy grin down at her.

To say Rukia felt self-conscious would be an understatement. She only reached Rangiku's… chest! In the six years they hadn't seen each other, her curves had doubled and she had gotten really tall! It was hard for Rukia (or anyone) to believe she was related to the rest of the female part of her family. Well, Rangiku _was_ her half-sister. And she had taken most from their mother, the shiny hair, the radiant tanned skin, the glowing eyes, the more than ample curves. Her mother, with her gorgeous long auburn hair, looked barely past thirty, though she was in her early forties; Rukia reckoned it was the only thing she got from her mother, she looked younger than her age as well. But more like a twelve-year-old boy. The girl looked so out of place with her short and skinny stature, her child-like figure, the short dark hair, the pale skin and the fly-like dark midnight eyes.

Rukia felt her tongue tie in a knot when she noticed Rangiku's subtle surprise once she realized how much shorter she actually was, but she quickly replaced it with a grin.

"It's been like forever! Awww, I was like, still in high school when I last saw you up close!"

Rukia could only smile awkwardly, but squeaked when the taller girl grabbed her and pulled her to the living room happily.

"Otou-saaaan! Come say hi to Ruki!"

She stumbled to her feet and looked at her stepfather, whom she had seen a total of four times in her entire life.

"Hi, Rukia. Long time," he smiled kindly and extended his hand.

"Oh, hi Mr. Ishida!" she squealed and quickly shook his hand.

"Oh, no need for such formalities, we are family now, call me Uryu!"

"Well…" started the girl, but was interrupted by a small grunt.

"Who is she?" came the annoyed complain from the floor.

Rukia turned to face a grumpy little boy with annoyed blue eyes and snow white hair, around the age of seven.

"Toshi honey, this is your sister Rukia!" smiled her mother and took the unwilling child in her arms, then almost shoved him to Rukia's face.

"Remember Toshiro? Oh, you haven't seen him since he was a little baby, have you?"

Rukia blinked, recalling the fact that she had a half-brother. It was easy for her to forget the existence of her extended family when she was so used to only living with her father.

"He looks just like Uryu's father!" continued Orihime, her mother, and Rukia wondered if Uryu's father would glare at her just like Toshiro did.

"Toshi, Rukia-chan came from Karakura and she's going to be staying with us now!" giggled Orihime. "Isn't it great, sweetheart?"

"Why?" whined the child.

Tension suddenly developed in the air, but was quickly broken by Rangiku, who clapped her hands just like her mother had and said, "Hey Ruki, you must be beat! Come on, I'll show you the bedroom!"

"Yes! Yes!" nodded Orihime. "And I'll make you your favorite…" then she paused. "Umm, what's your favorite food?"

"Oh… it's okay, I'll eat whatever you are having…"

"Okay, I'll make you some-"

"INSTANT NOODLES!" both father and daughter jumped in before Orihime said anything.

"You are not prepared to stomach mom's food yet," whispered Rangiku in a conspiring manner in Rukia's ear and dragged her behind her.

The bedroom Rukia was dragged into was pink, girly, with a double bed, a big desk with a computer… and seemingly the aftermath of a wardrobe explosion. There was a red bra scattered on the bed, large enough to fit two basketballs. Wow.

"So! Here we are! We are going to be sleeping together!" squealed Rangiku happily and threw her arms around her bewildered sister. "And here's the bathroom and I emptied half the closet for you!" she kept on, "I stuffed some of my clothes in Toshi's closet!"

"Ah… thank you," murmured Rukia.

"Nah, you can go have a shower and I'll empty your suitcases!" Rangiku looked down at the small suitcase and then looked around inquiringly. "Ruki, where are the rest of your bags? Are they being delivered?"

Rukia blushed and slowly shook her head, making her sister's eyes bulge. "T-that's it…"

"Oh, come on! You have so much money…" she mused.

Rukia smiled awkwardly and murmured, "I don't like shopping very much… and in Karakura there were not many stores so…"

Rangiku covered her mouth in shock. "You mean to tell me… you've never been to a mall!?"

Rukia nodded and Rangiku gasped. "Okay! We have to fix this! I'm sooooo taking you shopping tomorrow!"

The short girl sighed and nodded warily, thinking it would be good to spend time with her sister. She walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Once tucked in her Chappy pyjamas, with her tummy warm from the instant noodles and with the splish-sploshing of Rangiku in the bathroom, Rukia looked down at her cell phone and tapped the screen nervously.

_'Hi, Renji. It's Rukia. How have you been?'_

No. She erased it and started again.

_'Hey, pineapple! It's me!'_

Me? She doubted Renji still had her number after three years.

_'Renji, this is Rukia Kuchiki, your friend from Karakura-'_

No.

_'Hey, it's the girl who's been in love with you since kindergarten!'_

Pathetic.

_'Hey, it's the girl whom you gave her first kiss to! Remember me? I guess you missed my letters…'_

Even worse.

With a sigh, she held her breath and typed quickly,

_'Renji, this is Rukia from Karakura, I am in Tokyo and I thought maybe we'd meet up or something. Or not.'_

And she hit send, then covered her head under the covers to mourn about her idiocy. Renji would probably not even remember her. Well no, he would, they'd spent the entire elementary school together! She wondered if he had changed. Hopefully he had gotten rid of that ponytail that made his head look like a pineapple. He was probably taller, much taller than her, too. Not that it wasn't normal for everyone to be taller than her. She wondered if he had gotten those tattoos he'd been wanting to get when he was old enough. Hopefully not.

"OUCH!" Rukia gasped aloud when she felt a heavy weight drop on her over the covers and cut off her breathing.

"Yaba Daba bed sharing!" squealed a very energized Rangiku who smashed her little sister on the bed. She must have forgotten that her boobs weighed as much as Rukia herself, if not more.

The stunning young woman jumped up with a toothy grin, clad in her pink lace nightie, with her perfect hair bouncing in tune with her breasts. Way to add to Rukia's body image issues. Rangiku moved over to the other side of the bed and happily settled under the covers, and Rukia was glad her own size left much space between their bodies; she was not the touchy-touchy type. However, Rangiku extended her arm and nudged Rukia to come closer.

"Come on…"

The girl gulped and butted nearer, then the bigger woman gave her a strong, hearty squeeze and lay down with Rukia in her arms like a hug plushie.

"I'm so glad you're here, Ruki," she sighed. "Three months all alone… I was so worried about you! Now that you're here, we are going to have so much fun, ne?"

Rukia could only nod half-heartedly as she slowly slipped away from the overwhelming embrace. She had never been given that much bodily affection and it crept her out. Especially when someone invaded her personal space.

"I'm kind of tired…" she murmured and turned her back, almost guilty that she was rejecting Rangiku's sisterly advances.

"Yup! Let's get our beauty sleep 'cause tomorrow we are going shoppin'!"

Rukia could only sigh, already feeling suffocated and horribly out of place. She could only wish she would pull through.

.

Oh no. "Ran…" Rukia groaned, two hours into her sleep when she once again found her sister's body smashing her back and her gaping mouth snoring in her ear.

"Ran…"

The woman only tossed her arm around the girl and her leg over Rukia's hips. The girl tried to stir to gently wake up the 'intruder' of her side of the bed, but Rangiku was like a human Snorlax. Heavy and impossible to wake. Rukia tried to use whatever power had not already been drained from her body to push against Rangiku, who, after much effort, was relentless.

Rukia grunted and slid herself underneath her sister, ending up literally falling on the floor next to the bed with a thud and many promiscuous bruises. She rolled her eyes and got up, then walked over to Rangiku's original side of the bed, wishful to resume her sleep. She was so tired, her ears almost blocked out Rangiku's snoring. Once she settled and started to drift back to sleep… Rangiku turned and smashed her again. Oh dammit. With the risk of suffering suffocation-induced death in her sleep, Rukia closed her exhausted eyes in defeat.

* * *

_Ding._

The all too familiar sound rang around the small, awkwardly silent house and woke up the head currently resting on a stack of papers on his untidy desk. Ichigo scornfully raised his head and peeled a paper off his cheek, then wiped it to find ink smudges on it.

He looked down at the paper he'd been reading-or was supposed to be reading-before he fell asleep. Student transfer._ Kuchiki R-_… Great, that's where the ink smudge came from. _Kuchiki R-something, born January 14th, 17 years old, transferring from Karakura High School, Karakura-cho, Kyoto Prefecture, Kansai Region._

He yawned and rubbed his tired eyes.

_Average General Score 99/100_

_Algebra 100/100_

_Western Literature 100/100_

_Japanese Language 100/100_

_Gymnastics 85/100_

_Computers 100/100_

_History 100/100_

And so on…

He'd never seen so many zeroes in a student's record since his own high school days. And apparently that kid was being transferred to his class and home room. He cracked his neck and tossed the paper over the pile of corrected papers, whose grades greatly contradicted the new student's performance. Well, all except one, which was supposed to belong to a student who hadn't even written a paper. He'd assigned Hinamori to write a paper on 'Agnes Grey'… it escaped him how the girl found the wrong Brontë sister to read and ended up reading half of 'Wuthering Heights', and then came to class crying her eyes out about how Catherine died. It was in times like these that he'd ask himself the inevitable question, '_How the fuck did I end up like this?'_

His tired eyes moved to the clock with a scowl. 3 am.

_Ding._

The microwave.

He got up and stretched his tired back, then dragged his feet all the way to the kitchen and rubbed his abdomen under his A-shirt. He ruffled his orange locks which had grown far too long for his profession and opened the microwave door, which was the only cooking vessel in his tiny kitchen.

In it rested the bowl of instant noodles he had popped in about five hours ago… which was now stone cold and the noodles looked more like a mushy mess. He morosely took out the gooey thing and tossed it in the over spilling trash can, then opened the fridge to find a can of beer, an apple and a tub of mustard from last year.

He grabbed the apple and took a bite to tame his empty stomach, then looked around the dark house with only the desk light on. The house was an untidy mess, with books and papers on the floor, along with cups of half-drunk coffee. He should get a cleaning lady, or he'd probably die of a fungal disease in there. Tomorrow would be Saturday, so he guessed he could save some money by doing the job himself, though he doubted he would.

From the corner of his eye, he caught the blinking light of the answering machine and lazily pressed on it as he finished dissecting the fruit.

_'Yo, Carrot Top!'_

Holy shit! How long had it been since he heard that voice?

"Ishida Rangiku? Where did you find my house number?" One of Ichigo's many quirks was answering to the answering machine, though he knew it was most probably psychotic.

_'I expected you to be listed as Strawberry on the catalogue!'_

Oh. That's where.

_'Tomorrow, 10 pm, Lotus Bar. Class reunion biiiiitch! We're gonna partay! Have you learned how to smile, yet? You gotta come, dude! I'll bring my hot lil' sis tooooo!'_

Ichigo huffed and rubbed his head. He hadn't seen Ishida Rangiku since graduation from Tokyo U two years ago. Well, it was _his _graduation, because she quit, much to her father's dismay. If he could recall though, she only had a brother...?

He shrugged to himself, he never knew her family anyway. He doubted he'd go to that get together thing, unless Chad dragged him along. He guessed he needed a girlfriend, though. But Ishida's little sister? If she had as much breast as she lacked brains, he doubted he'd like her any. Besides, he could hardly put up with looking at his own hair, he couldn't take dating another ginger.

The apple was gone the next second, leaving him very unsatisfied as the next message played out.

_'Hey, Ichigo.'_

"Hey, Chad."

_'Ishida-san called me about the reunion. Most graduates of our year are going to be there, so I called in advance to let you know I'm going...'_

"And...?" scowled Ichigo.

_'Ishida-san threatened me to make sure I'd bring you over. So, I request your presence.'_

"Wait, what would she have on you?" asked Ichigo incredulously. He probably had to stop voicing his thoughts...

_'Well, in case you are wondering, she threatened to show everyone the video from... **that day**.'_

"HOLY SHIT! SHE SWORE SHE DESTROYED IT!"

_'So, calm down and call me tomorrow. Goodnight.'_

Ichigo facepalmed himself. Damn Ishida Rangiku! He knew he shouldn't have trusted her! Great, so now he would have to go to the useless reunion, be stuck with a blabbering Ishida girl AND he'd have to find a book to assign to the new student by next week! What else could ruin his perfectly lame weekend?

_'Kurosaki-senseiiii!'_

"Oh no..." Just in time to hear Principal Urahara's voice message!

_'Why aren't you picking up? Are you busy with a guuurl?'_

Ichigo snorted, "I wish."

_'I assume you have received the student transfer papers. Since you are in charge of the little Kuchiki, make sure to assign her some extra after-school activities with you; since you are the only teacher who assigned papers over the summer, she's got to do something to get the credit and sit for the final exams! And remember, student molestation is illegal.'_

Ichigo's face contorted in disgust. Harassing his own student? Only Principal Urahara would think of that! As if he needed another blushing, air-headed girl to deal with!

_'Ara, ara... I'll see you on Monday then!'_

A frustrated growl escaped the grumpy teacher, who looked around the messy home and in extent reflected on his messy life. Could he make the new girl clean up his house or something? He yawned loudly and decided he was too tired to sulk any more, but upon taking a step he tripped over a book on the floor.

"Dammit..." Ichigo squeezed his pained foot grudgingly and picked up the book, one of many that lay on his floor. 'The Bookmark' by Catherine Chaton.

How long had it been since he'd read it? Well, problem solved, he had just found the little Kuchiki's project for his class. Ichigo never really put any thought into what he'd assign to who, but after listening to Mahana squeal at being assigned 'Frankenstein', he thought it better not to take any chances.

He lazily opened his old book to check on the condition; his love for books did not extend to his ability to preserve them in decent shape.

'And thus, the Irishman looked over his locks, of the colour of copper, to see the elegant young maiden with a halo of raven hair and skin like the snowy fields of his hometown. The first attribute he noted, as he would narrate many a time in the future, was her height.'

The Bookmark: A classic story of a growing affection between Lucy Rotwood and Persimmon 'Persi' Ashland.

Perfect.

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